I got raped, violently handled and to top it off he took my money

I just got home a few hours ago. I woke up in a ton of pain, covered in bruises, scratches and bleeding from places I shouldn’t have been. I wasn’t able to leave and I don’t know how much detail I will go in because I’m in tears right now, but I’ll try my best to tell you girls as much as I can. Reason being this:

I need you girls to know that you make sure you do NOT trust ANY of these fucking men no matter how well you THINK you know them. He could be a well known public figure, it doesn’t fucking matter. Some of these men couldn’t give a flying fuck about what they do to you and they have a lot more power than you think. I don’t want anyone to be in the position I was in. I don’t want any of you girls to compromise your safety for anything.

I had background checked this guy so well. I found out everything about him. He’s a very well known public figure, good looking, charming, easy to talk to and very nice. He was everything you’d want to see in a SD (or at least I thought.)

We’ve been on 3 dates before- no sex. We had a lot of fun, we got along so well and the only red flag was that I felt like something wasn’t right with some of the things he said. It wasn’t exactly what he said it was how he said it. I just brushed it off as him just not communicating things very well.

We went for drinks at an upscale bar, then stopped by a restaurant to grab takeout and headed to his place. He had a beautiful gated house in a secluded neighborhood. When we got to his place I remember leaving my clutch somewhere on his kitchen counter (in it was my phone, the money he gave me, etc.) but I couldn’t remember 100% because I was distracted and thought I misplaced it. He assured me it was somewhere close and that I’ll find it before I left. 

EVERYTHING was fine up until we started having sex. As soon as we both got undressed he turned into a completely different person and it was terrifying. He was very dominant and was a bit too rough for my liking in the beginning, but nothing too horrible. I basically gave him the PSE which I wasn’t too happy about because I felt no pleasure from it, it was all about keeping his dick hard while fucking me like one of those girls from a hardcore porn scene. He finished and we went to bed.

He woke up shortly after we went to bed. I was awake the entire time because I felt uneasy and he literally had a death grip on me while I was trying to sleep with my head was on his chest. He basically wanted to fuck again which I denied but he got aggressive and I was scared so I just gave in because I didn’t know what he was capable of. May I mind you that he’s a former bodybuilder so he’s huge and very strong. No matter how hard I would try to shove him off I couldn’t. 110 pounds compared to probably 200+ pounds of muscle isn’t a fair match. The smacking, gagging and choking got out of hand and I told him to settle down because it was getting too painful and I wasn’t ok with it. This idiot acts as though I didn’t say anything and keeps going. I was so angry and tried my best not to cry because I felt like that’s what he wanted. He wanted that power over me.

I was smacked over and over- face, ass practically every body part you could think of. He pulled my hair so hard he ripped out some of my extensions. I was choked to the point where he left hand and scratch marks on my neck. I passed out twice. I was gagged more times than I can count, he throat fucked me to the point where I was actually on the verge of tears because I couldn’t breathe and was in so much pain that I thought there was no way I’d be able to handle any more of it. No matter how much I pleaded for him to stop, he wouldn’t. In fact he pinned me down harder and got way more aggressive whenever he saw me trying to resist. He would throw me into different positions, shoved and smacked me against the walls and headboard, shoved my head into the bed and pillows so that I couldn’t breath. After being fucked on the floor I was dragged by my legs back onto the bed. He tried to anally fuck me without lube. That is when I started crying and really started to plead him to stop because the pain was unlike anything I’ve felt before. I was in a position where I was able to elbow him and keep him at a far enough distance to where it was difficult for him to penetrate me so he gave up on it and went back to gagging me. When he finished he told me to go clean myself off in the bathroom. I probably spent an hour in there cleaning myself off, panicking and trying to figure out what I was going to do. I was so scared to come out I didn’t know what was going to happen as soon as I opened that door. I was bleeding in places I shouldn’t have bleeding in and the water burned the broken skin. I was so exhausted at that point (it was 4am and we got to his place at 9pm) that I couldn’t cry anymore. I knew that no matter how much I wanted to cry I couldn’t because he would use that opportunity to do something to me. I got out of the bathroom and quietly lay next to him until I fell asleep. In the morning I woke up in so much pain and spent probably another good hour or two in the bathroom trying to calm down. He wasn’t there and I could smell food so I assumed he was cooking breakfast or something. I was so dizzy and tired. He walked back into the room and in a completely normal tone of voice said ‘come down to the kitchen, I made us some breakfast.’ I came down and we both quietly ate breakfast while watching TV, he would make stupid remarks about the show we were watching but made no comment on the night before (or the fact that there were fucking bruises and scratches all over my body.) I was completely numb at that point and didn’t say a word because I didn’t want to piss him off. What got to me was when he said my real name. I haven’t told any of these guys my real name. He had the most disgusting grin on his face when he’d say my name and then he referred to something about my personal like and that’s when I started to get shaky and really nervous. This guy was a complete sociopath and he knew stuff about my that I’ve never told any of these men. I was trying to act as though I wasn’t frightened. My voice was shaking as I was talking but I was speaking very nicely and was doing everything in my power not to get on his nerves. When we were finished eating he called a cab for me and gave me $100 to get home. He then handed me my clutch. He had obviously looked through it. Inside was my ID (has my full name, address, everything on it.) My phone has a pass code on it but maybe he was somehow able to bypass it, or maybe saw me type it in and that’s how he knew the personal things about me. On the way home the money he gave me was no longer there. I’m so upset, scared and angry I don’t know what to do.

I can’t tell you how scared I was and I’m in tears typing this but I want you girls to realize that this can happen to anyone. I never thought in a million years something like this would happen to me. I took every precaution possible, I background checked him to a T and I thought I did everything to keep myself safe. I always thought ‘it can’t happen to me, no way’ but it did and I’m so scared and confused and I haven’t been able to stop crying since I got home. I don’t know what to do. He has something against me, he had access to my phone he knows where I live and I am so scared right now. Being a sex worker I don’t know how the police would act in a situation like this. Even with that aside, he wouldn’t have done this and acted so lightly on it if he knew there wasn’t a way to get away with it so clearly he must have planned this out and has a way to get out of it. My roommate is coming home from work in a few hours so I know I’m going to talk to her about it. This was all so surreal and uncalled for. I feel horrible and completely disgusted. I’m contacting my psychologist and scheduling an appointment as soon as I can.

I probably won’t be posting for a little while. I’m cancelling all of my appointments for the next 2 weeks and I won’t be doing anything sex work related for half a month or so. I know I’ll be going back eventually, but as of right now I need to have nothing to do with it.

I am pleading all of you girls to understand that no matter what safety precautions you take, that sex work will always be dangerous. It’s not all glamorous and exciting. It’s not a quick money fix. It’s not something you jump into without researching or taking the potential consequences into consideration. It’s not a safe job no matter how safe you try to make it.

I just want to sleep and clear my head, I’m not in a good state right now. I hope none of you ever have to go through something like this, or anything close to this, ever.

EDIT: I am contacting the police right now, reading over that I know there’s no way I’m letting him potentially do that to anyone else. He can expose me if he wants, I don’t care, he’s not getting away with any of this.


for those of you who are ignorant and continuously tell sex workers to “get a real job” I’d just like to point out that it’s actually listed as one of the earliest professions dating back to ca. 2400 B.C.

so please educate yourself before you go spewing bullshit out of your mouth

(via marleygotboobs)

I can’t be the only one that internet stalks my SD when I’m bored

I’m obsessed with Mr. Bentley to the point where I watch his interviews online when I miss him. He’s so sexy, he could be talking about the most boring shit in his interviews and I still get worked up over him. I’m going to make it my goal to get him to agree to make a private sex tape with me. Our bedroom sessions are magical and we need a home video so that I can masturbate to them when he’s not there to satisfy my needs LOL

maybe if your mother wasnt a gold digging whore like you she wouldnt have gotten cheat on

Did you REALLY think you were smart or clever by sending me this? My mother worked in the same field as my father- that’s how they met. She was by no means a trophy wife or anything along those lines. She’s self made and has worked for everything she has, which is exactly why she was able to leave my father without hesitation. She didn’t have to depend on my father for anything and the both of them basically make an equal living. So if by ‘gold digging whore’ you mean self made, independent, amazing business woman, then yeah, I guess she is one ;)

A Sugar Baby Mantra


I am a woman of the highest caliber, and I deserve only the best. I am providing a valuable luxury service to men who do not deserve me and have to earn me by funding me and treating me like the lady I am. No man who would act entitled to my time, my company, or my body deserves it.

Now repeat it until you believe it.

(via sugaababee)

I don't believe him. There are many decent men who don't cheat. I think we all need to take a hard look at our values, what is important to us in order to find people we can trust. And that is a difficult thing, to trust. In your position you have a lot of healing to do. Perhaps you will decide it is not worth it, perhaps you will find a wonderful partner ( man?woman?) and find a way to honest communication. All things are possible. The story has not been written yet. Thoughts?

There are men out there that won’t cheat. However, 99.9% of WEALTHY older men will always cheat at one point or another. I’m not going to lower my standards for love and I’ve accepted the fact that the wealthy man I will marry one day will cheat. I’ve seen it happen time and time again. They don’t have time for a conventional relationship, they travel a shit ton and will always want a fuck buddy on the road because rich men are like that. I have seen it happen 100% of the time. I work in a field where I get to see this shit happen on a daily basis. Money makes people ugly. I don’t care how humble you try to be, it will always change you in one way or another.

Oh and to top things off, my parents got divorced a little while ago. They were the perfect couple, perfect family, perfect house, perfect careers, perfect everything. Even after 20+ years of marriage they’d still go on dates, trips, he’d buy her flowers every week. Growing up I always thought ‘wow, I hope I can have a relationship like my parents’ because you could literally see the love they had for one another when they were together. Want to know something? My mother found out he was cheating on her during a business trip. Someone forgot to log out of their email and all the truth came spilling out. It was supposed to be a harmless one night hook up but ended in a 20+ year marriage ending. So if me, a sex worker who sees men cheat on their wives and girlfriends on a daily basis and got to see my parents seemingly perfect relationship fail all for the same reasons, then why should I trust any man?

There’s a bowl of 1000 M&M’s in front of you, 100 of them are poisonous but the rest are ok. Are you still going to take your chances and eat a handful of M&M’s out of that bowl? Probably not.

I’m not trying to come off as some ‘hurt hooker who needs healing’ because I don’t. I’m realistic. I’ve seen the reality of things and I will always have to keep my guard up because no matter how good things may seem to be, they can always take a turn for the worse. I’ve accepted it and I don’t care anymore, I was just simply stating how shitty reality can be.

I made a little mistake while sending out sexy photos to one of my P4P guys

I cropped out my face and added a filter through an app, but stupid me accidentally sent him the photo with my face in it. Basically we got into a disagreement over something stupid a week later and this idiot is threatening to ‘release’ this photo. Like yeah ok buddy, who are you going to release it to? TMZ? Your old ass buddies? I have nothing to lose if he sends it out to someone so I don’t see why he thinks he has something against me. I told him to make sure he sends it out to everyone on his contacts list while he’s at it. Let them embrace my gorgeousness you little bitch.

Do you actively message the POTs on sites first or wait for them to message you?

I’ve never sent out a message first! I always wait for them to come to me. I’m sure I’d get more guys if I took the time to message them, but I don’t feel like I need to since I have enough men to deal with as is.